Monday Hangover: Baffert Baffles at Derby, May 3

Fucking Bob Baffert. Only this guy can bring a horse that he bought for $1000 to the Kentucky Derby and win the whole damn thing. Medina Spirit was a 15-1 and absolutely ran away with it. It was a gut blow to all the idiots (like me and if you listened to me) who bought heavily into the Essential Quality hype. Hell, Mattress Mack put a couple million dollars into the pony and he didn’t pull off the win. 

Thankfully Hot Rod Charlie showed and won back some of the cash but good god this is not how we thought this was going to play out. All in all, I guess it made sense that the greatest trainer in the history of the running of the roses pulled a horse out of his ass and won a shit ton of money. Seriously, he bought the thing for $1000 and the stud fees are now close to $2.6 million so I would say the ROI on that purchase worked out okay. 

Maybe the most disturbing part of this entire weekend though came as I was researching for this article. I read that a man who founded Gallery Furniture placed a ton of money on Essential Quality. I was already aware of how much Mattress Mack had placed on the horse and it took me a moment to realize this man with a name I didn’t recognize was the real name of Mattress Mack. Seeing as he is kind of like a cartoon character to me, I will not spoil the fun of Mattress Mack and tell you his real name, you’re welcome. 

The biggest winner from the weekend came from a dude who bet the trifecta and exacta correctly. He placed a $1500 ticket on the exacta and won just over $62,000. He followed that up with placing $1500 one the trifecta and winning….get this, $424,000. If he didn’t have a wife before Saturday, he may just have one now. 

Potentially the most fun bet to watch cash this weekend were the very few brave souls who took the Orlando Magic (+510) to beat the Memphis Grizzlies. With seconds to play, the Magic trailed 111 to 109 and Cole Anthony absolutely took over. The rookie hit a clutch-three to take their first lead since the first quarter with a tenth of a second left and cashed the most valued moneyline that we saw in the NBA over the weekend. 

Missed it by a foot

In Sunday night’s Phillies vs Mets game, Phillies bettors were absolutely gut wrenched in the ninth-inning. Philly came into the game as -115 favorites, taking on a Mets team that have gone 4-6 in their last 10 games. The Phillies allowed six runs in the top of the eighth inning and trailed 8-4 after leading the entire game. 

Then in the bottom of the ninth and already having plated a run, Rhys Hoskins hit what appeared to be a three-run, game-tying home run. He trotted the bases, headed to the dugout and the game was tied. Instead, they reviewed the home run, saw that it hit about a foot short of the seats and instead hopped off the top of the fence and they brought Hoskins back to second with the score 8-7. Bryce Harper proceeded to strike out in the next at-bat and the Phillies lost. 


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The Indiana Pacers are not a very good team and the Oklahoma City Thunder are a fucking horrinle team but I still don’t understand how Indiana rolled OKC 152-95. The Pacers were 6.5 point favorites and they smoked them by 57 points. That doesn’t even look like the score of a college basketball game, nonetheless an NBA game. 

Free Play

UNDER 215.5 76ers vs Chicago 

The Sixers have been a dominant defensive team this season and are currently ranked 7th in the NBA in points allowed. The UNDER has hit in 12 of Philly’s last 18 and in 6 of Chicago’s last 9. With the Sixers playing a back-to-back, I can imagine they’ll be tired and can stick under the posted total. 

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