Best Bets: Wedding Edition, May 22
Welcome to the Weekend Bets: Wedding Edition. I am full blown hungover on a Friday morning because the rehearsal dinner was on a Thursday night and while I typically will write this article on a Saturday morning, there is no way I won’t still be drunk by the time I need to get this thing onto the World Wide Web for some Saturday bets. So we are doing things a full-day early.
But first, let me just give my status report on my performance so far at this wedding. I’ll begin by saying that I am a full-blown guest that knows not a soul other than the old bag who invited me, also known as my lovely girlfriend. I flew into Nashville for this thing and am ready to load my pockets with shooters and abuse the open bar. Last night, we had a rehearsal dinner and cocktail hour at a very nice house, and let me just say, don’t be the guy who shows up casually late for the rehearsal dinner.
1st Quarter: I show up 45 minutes late to what I believed was a casual stand-up dinner but was in fact a lovely, sit-down, formal, jacket-required dinner in which I stumbled in during a speech.
2nd Quarter: I, in my golf polo tucked into slacks, begin to self-degrade myself into telling everyone I will show up two hours early to the wedding tomorrow and clean the pews.
3rd Quarter: We are in the intermission before rehearsal dinner and cocktail party. At this point drinks are flowing, I am chatting it up with everyone and their mother and I am feeling the room coming back to my side at this point.
4th Quarter: Piss drunk, eyeing down the diving board in this backyard, and I am on my 5th bite-size éclair of the night. The old bag has forgiven me and I am getting googly eyes from the 65-year-old aunt.
(I will give the full wedding rundown in the Hangover Monday edition)
But now the real reason you are here, the best bets of the weekend. There is lots of shit going down this weekend, other than me likely pissing myself or splitting my pants on the dancefloor. The NBA playoffs officially begin, UFC fights galore, PGA Championship, NHL playoffs, on-base over/unders (always.)
NBA – Something New (The Playoffs)
There is something about a two-month playoff that gets me absolutely torqued. Saturday and Sunday will be great days with tons of games and I am all about it. Per usual in these things, let’s go quality over quantity and make the right bets.
Saturday – OVER 227 Heat/ Bucks
This is the series where we can officially label Giannis as a playoff choke artist if they don’t come away with a relatively easy win. The Heat and Bucks are two teams that can score a lot of points. Miami didn’t really have an explosive offense early in the year, but during their final 13 games, the OVER hit 11 times. They played the Bucks just three days ago, and the two combined for 230 points. With all the rest that is going into this game, I have a hard time not taking some sort of bet on the offenses.
Sunday – Sixers (-7) vs Washington
I love the Wizards and they have backed me all season long with a really healthy against the spread record, but this team has to run out of steam eventually. I’m not saying this is going to be a clean-sweep but after playing two play-in games with a banged up Bradley Beal and now travelling to Philly with just two-night’s rest for a Sixers team that has been rested for nearly a week, this is easy. 7 is not the most favorable number for a bet so I would suggest taking this before it inflates any higher.
UFC Vegas 27 – Something Old (The Fighters)
Anytime the UFC is in Vegas, just absolutely insane. Here is my pick for the weekend, Xiaonan defeats Esparza by unanimous decision. Esparza’s only real move is a takedown and is not much of a fist fighter. What sucks for her is that Xiaonan is a pretty legit defender when she gets to the ground and that doesn’t bode well for Esparza. Add that on top of the fact that Xiaonan is two years younger, with a 17-1 record against a fighter with a 17-6 record, forget about it. You can grab Xiaonan at -125 which is probably the best bet you can make.
NHL – Something Blue (The Lightning)
The Tampa Bay Lightning let a golden opportunity slip away by allowing a goal in the final three minutes of regulation against Florida, and then taking an overtime loss. They were just three minutes away from taking a 3-0 series lead in a very physical series and be a win away from having some much needed rest, but they couldn’t finish the job out properly. Now, the best move Tampa can make is winning their Saturday game at home. They are 21-7-1 this season when playing on their familiar ice and the line is set at -110 right now. I am riding the Lightning.